WASHINGTON—Finding themselves
increasingly annoyed with the inexplicable and infuriating persistence of their
feeble socioeconomic inferiors, America’s rich and powerful were at a loss
Wednesday as to exactly when the rest of the country would finally relinquish
all hope and simply give up, sources close to the 1 percent confirmed.
“What exactly is wrong with
them? I mean, there’s no possible way they’ll ever stop us from getting
everything we want, so the poor—and I suppose what’s left of the middle class—are
only delaying the inevitable,” said one outrageously wealthy citizen, speaking
on expectation of anonymity and adding that, realistically, no one in their
right mind could possibly see the use of struggling against those who control
the nation’s media, financial, and political institutions.
“I suppose I should admire
their sheer animal persistence, but, Christ, it’s been over since we somehow
got them to accept that trickle-down bullshit. I know, I know, we tied their
education to their property taxes to encourage them to ass-fuck themselves
almost as hard as they ass-fucked their neighbors, but to think they’re so
stupid they can’t get the concept of ‘being fucked’ through their thick
skulls?”
At press time, the nation’s
most wealthy and influential citizens said they felt a sense of renewed hope
and optimism upon realizing how few poor people had voted in recent elections.
No comments:
Post a Comment