APPLETON, WI—Expressing
disbelief at her romantic partner’s dramatic behavioral shift, local woman
Emily Kittleson, 30, told reporters Friday that she had not expected her
boyfriend’s attempts to recognize and curtail toxic masculinity would
eventually turn him into a “weepy little pansy.”
“Christ, I know the dope is
trying to be conscious of the effects of his words and actions and to be more
open and honest with his emotions, but there’s got to be a limit,” said
Kittleson of her boyfriend Shane Magnusen, 31, whose efforts to reject toxic
masculinity have begun to irritate her as she claims he has evolved into “a
fragile fucking flower about everything” in recent weeks.
“Of course I’m happy for
social progress and all, but this ineffectual shit is not what I signed up for.
Instead of suppressing his emotions about major issues in his life, he cries at
sad commercials. Our fights used to be him screaming at me for a few minutes
and that was it, not great but not terrible. Then last night we get into an
argument that somehow turns into me nodding and making comforting noises while
he talks about his strained relationship with his dad until well after
midnight. Like, come on, I don’t have time to indulge this self-centered crap.”
Kittleson was also compelled
to interrupt her statements twice, groaning and rolling her eyes while
responding to text messages from Shane regarding their couples’ therapy
appointments later that week.
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