Friday, July 15, 2016

Clinton’s General Election Strategy

With the primaries behind them, the presumptive nominees from both parties must now assess how to approach the general election. Here is how Hillary Clinton is strategizing her campaign moving forward:

Woo Bernie supporters by becoming 30 percent more curmudgeonly

Hold focus groups to help her appeal to a more diverse array of America’s corporate entities

Establish strategic headquarters in thousands of swing living rooms

Delete folder on laptop titled “Liabilities 1998-2006”

Preempt Trump’s wild conspiracy theories by clarifying exactly which former aides committed suicide and which did not

Targeted TV ads that remind viewers she can win this thing without their vote if she has to

Mothball border wall proposal until inauguration

Surprise loyal supporters by dropping into a few quarterly earnings meetings unannounced

Go window-to-window in key districts to glare at undecided voters

Relax and continue being the trusted, affable woman everyone knows and loves

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