‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ is
an egregiously bad movie: Poorly written, badly directed, lazily acted, and
bombastically grating in both sound and image.
This review contains almost
all possible spoilers to “Star Wars: The Last Jedi.”
“Star Wars: The Last Jedi” is
a bad movie. It is not a bad Star Wars movie, but objectively speaking, as a
film, it’s a bad movie. Not only that, it is an egregiously bad movie: Poorly
written, badly directed, lazily acted, and bombastically grating in both sound
and image. It is, put bluntly, the worst Star Wars film since George Lucas’ own
unfortunate prequels.
To be fair, to hold this
opinion places a person in something like a minority of one. The critics have
been, by and large, rapturous, with Peter Travers of Rolling
Stoneexemplifying the critical consensus by saying the film is “simply
stupendous, a volcano of creative ideas in full eruption.”
There are, of course, two
possible explanations for this: The critics are stupid or have been paid off by
Walt Disney’s dark lords. These appear to be the only solutions to the problem,
because “The Last Jedi” is not simply bad, it is incompetent on the most basic
level.
Another Star Wars Second Act
The film, of course, follows
its characters through the standard Star Wars second act epitomized by the
beloved “Empire Strikes Back”: Everything goes to hell and the ragtag fleet of
good guys desperately tries to escape from all but certain destruction while,
elsewhere, a young would-be apprentice struggles with the nature of his or her
nascent powers.
To give a cursory overview of
the needlessly convoluted plot: Princess (now general) Leia Organa leads the
aforementioned ragtag Resistance fleet in a desperate escape from the evil
First Order. Ace pilot and Han Solo stand-in Poe Dameron favors an aggressive
approach to the situation. Leia and a hapless Laura Dern with purple hair
attempt to dissuade him, somewhat unsuccessfully.
Poe rebels, and persuades
former stormtrooper Finn and his love interest Rose to undertake a dangerous
and needlessly complicated mission that ultimately goes nowhere. All this
culminates in a series of climactic confrontations, each one louder and more
CGI-laden than the last.
Meanwhile, the desperate Rey
(played by Daisy Ridley in one of the few competent performances) attempts to
persuade the self-exiled Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill, in the other competent
performance) to return to the fight. Despite coming off as a grizzled, surly,
vaguely suicidal old man, Skywalker finally (apparently on the advice of a
disappointing cameo from Yoda) sees the light and (sort of) hurls himself into
a frenzied light saber duel with his wayward apprentice Kylo Ren that he (sort
of) wins and then (sort of) dies.
There is also, to further
unnecessarily complicate matters, some form of psychic connection or astral
projection between Rey and Kylo Ren that ultimately leads her to conclude (for
reasons never quite explained) that there is the proverbial “still good in him,”
sending her off to the lair of the evil Supreme Leader Snoke (a poor
replacement for the emperor) in a bid to save Kylo’s soul. That also leads to
an anti-climactic nowhere after Kylo, for reasons left unknown, kills Snoke and
installs himself as supreme leader.
If You Thought the Story Was
Bad, Check the Execution
Even a cursory reading of the
above reveals a plot so convoluted and bloated as to exhaust the potential
viewer. (It is also the reason for the film’s impossibly inflated running time
of an excruciating two and a half hours.) But the story is further laid low by
the stunning incompetence of its execution.
To name a few of its many
flaws: The script is laden with clichéd dialogue that is, at times, simply
excruciating. Finn and Rose go on a mad pursuit to find a codebreaker and their
entire quest ultimately leads nowhere, leaving the plot thread dangling before
the perplexed viewer and wasting almost a half-hour of screen time. Luke’s
angry alienation is reinforced at every point before he inexplicably has a
change of heart and shows up to save the day.
Snoke is displayed as
massively powerful and capable of effortlessly reading minds, but is dispatched
with a simple ruse from Kylo Ren, who appears to kill his revered mentor for no
particular reason. The entire story is based around a slow-speed pursuit
between ships capable of light speed. All of this is semi-explained through
remarkably long monologues that fail to move the story forward but continue ad
nauseum.
The plot is further degraded
by its pointed failure to follow up on the various story points set up by its
predecessor, the wonderful “Force Awakens.” One of the best was the mystery of
Rey’s parentage, which seemed to promise an exploration of the Jedi’s typically
convoluted bloodlines. We discover, however, in a belated revelation, that her
parents were “nobodies” completely unconnected to anything remotely
interesting.
Second is the nature and
origin of Snoke, who seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, shrouding the
grotesque monster in mystery. “The Last Jedi” reveals that he did appear out of
nowhere by providing no solution to the mystery. Last was the nature of Kylo
Ren’s rebellion against his mentor Skywalker and the founding of the “knights
of Kylo Ren.”
This plot point is dispensed
through a single flashback in which Skywalker, completely out of character,
tries to kill Kylo, inciting Kylo’s understandable resentment. His presumably
slow descent into the Dark Side, turn to the First Order, and the knights of
Ren themselves are left to the imagination. Considering the quality of the
film, this may be for the best.
Campy Humor to Best the
Originals
Perhaps the most egregious
misstep, however, is the film’s ridiculously campy humor, which debases and
degrades the proceedings to a remarkable degree. The picture is filled with
childish attempts at “Guardians of the Galaxy”-style jokes, like a bad prank
phone call between Poe and a First Order ultra-fascist, Luke tossing a light
saber indifferently over his shoulder, and an exposition-laden conversation
with a tangential character that takes place, for some reason, in the midst of
laser-gun duel.
The Ewoks also appear in
spirit in the form of the Porgs, a bizarre cross between owls and penguins
whose only purpose is being cute and silly and selling merchandise. The problem
with this is not merely that the jokes are bad (which they are) but that they
make the entire film seem to be a self-referential spoof akin to “Spaceballs”
(if less successfully humorous).
The Star Wars films always had
funny moments, but they rarely descended into outright camp. “The Last Jedi”
seems to be enjoying undermining itself, as if telling the audience “Look at
all this silly space opera, and look how silly you are for paying to watch it.”
The result is an insult to the intelligence that would be more grating if the
rest of the film were not equally so.
None of this, however, seems
to have dissuaded audiences. “The Last Jedi” looks set to be a massive hit,
which should only confirm the omnipotent Disney in its further plans. J.J.
Abrams’ return to the franchise for the third installment may promise a
resurgence, and previous attempts such as “The Force Awakens” and “Rogue One”
were at least competent and at best highly enjoyable.
Can Disney Keep This Up
Without Exhausting Us?
Nonetheless, “The Last Jedi”
seems to promise a dark future for Star Wars, especially as director Rian
Johnson has been tapped to develop a further trilogy. Indeed, the question
arises as to whether Disney can, as it plans, release a Star Wars film a year
without exhausting both audiences and the franchise itself. With billions of
dollars already invested, they may be forced into the attempt, but it seems
likely that further incompetent exercises in infantilizing the audience are
likely to become more common than attempts to marry quality to blockbuster
trappings.
Yet there is a deeper and more
depressing phenomenon at work in “The Last Jedi.” Paul Schrader, the legendary
writer of “Taxi Driver,” once dated the decline of American cinema to the
release of “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” The beloved film, he said, is simply a
bad movie.
Indeed, the case be made that
it is merely a series of action sequences strung together on a thin storyline
before ending with a literal deus ex machina. Much the same is the case in “The
Last Jedi,” and now, it seems, the series that effectively founded Hollywood’s
current blockbuster obsession is not immune to becoming one of its victims.
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