https://www.theonion.com/bill-barr-declares-ipswich-middle-school-anarchist-juri-1845173206
IPSWICH, MA—In an effort to restore the rule of law, Attorney General Bill Barr declared Ipswich Middle School an anarchist jurisdiction Friday after finding a circle-A symbol scrawled on a notebook cover.
“We’ve discovered verifiable evidence that this middle school is a hotbed of left-wing extremism,” said Barr of the anarchist symbol, which was discovered sketched onto the spiral-bound notebook in ink along with several interior lined pages containing a crudely drawn penis and the number 666.
“Ipswich School District administrators have clearly allowed this junior high to become a place where chaos and violence flourish. The Department of Justice will not tolerate this dangerous radicalism. If these Democratic leaders have any sense, they’ll deploy the National Guard to this building immediately.”
At press time, Barr had pledged to cut whatever smidgen of federal funding the public school was receiving.
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