in-cite: real news for real people: January 2020

https://politics.theonion.com/you-re-a-piece-of-shit-and-i-hope-everyone-like-you-di-1841363666?utm_source=TheOnion

Image result for angry biden face

OTTUMWA, IA—As part of his effort to reinvigorate the coalition that once put Barack Obama in the White House, presidential candidate Joe Biden issued a moving plea for party unity when he told a Democratic voter “You’re a piece of shit and I hope everyone like you dies,” reports confirmed Thursday.

“Look here, pal, fuck you and fuck anybody who thinks like you,” the former vice president said to a town hall participant in what political experts have hailed as a rousing call for Democrats, independents, and even moderate Republicans to join together in harmony and overcome the divisiveness and rancor that have characterized the Trump era.

“If that’s what you believe, you’re clearly an idiot, and I don’t need your vote. Seriously, you and every single person in this fucking town deserves to die. Now back the hell up before I tear your throat out with my goddamn teeth.”

After the event, a screaming, red-faced Biden reportedly continued to share his inspiring vision by informing a group of unwitting Iowans that he could beat their asses with one hand tied behind his back.

Good news first: As we inch closer to today’s FEC fundraising deadline (at midnight!) and the Iowa caucus (3 more days!) a number of polls show us with a slight lead. We have the most volunteers, the most donors, and the most enthusiasm.

Now the bad news: All of those good polls came out before a super PAC launched $700,000 in ads attacking Bernie personally. We still don’t know who’s paying for them, and they could do damage. We’re also facing a Joe Biden super PAC spending millions in Iowa down this final stretch.

And the truth is, we’re pacing a bit behind where we’d hope to be at this point in the day. The stakes are too high for that. So we need to catch up.

We don’t have any billionaires waiting in the wings. No super PACs. So it’s up to us to do everything we can before the FEC deadline and the caucus. We need every last contribution that we can get.

Please make a contribution to our campaign before tonight’s FEC fundraising deadline at midnight so that we can win Iowa on Monday, win this nomination, defeat Donald Trump, and transform our country.

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It is no surprise that big money is pouring into this race to stop us. But if we stand together, there is nothing that we cannot accomplish.

Thank you for all you do.

In solidarity,

Faiz Shakir
Campaign Manager