[From The Onion]
NEW YORK—Following backlash
from journalists, politicians, and the public, The New York Times announced
Tuesday that it had amended a headline from the morning’s front page reading
“Hero Trump Disarms Would-Be Shooter.”
“The original headline did not
live up to our standards of objectivity at The New York Times and has
thus been changed to ‘Trump Gives Speech’ in order to more accurately represent
the president’s recent actions,” said executive editor Dean Baquet in response
to criticism that the piece inaccurately framed the president as a champion of
racial harmony and lionhearted hero who acted alone to stop a white national
terrorist plot.
“We were wrong to imply that
President Trump courageously rushed into an active-shooter situation inside a Washington,
D.C. gas station, held the gunman in a chokehold until he dropped his weapon,
and then provided first-aid to casualties, thus single-handedly preventing more
bloodshed. We deeply regret intimating that the shooter realized the error of
his ways and denounced his bigoted beliefs after a tough-love conversation with
Mr. Trump. Readers will see that these statements have been retracted from the
second edition.”
At press time, the new
headline, “Trump Gives Speech” had been changed to “Unifier-In-Chief Provides
Hope To Fractured Nation.”
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