NRA Calls For More Common-Sense Gun Deaths

https://www.theonion.com/nra-calls-for-more-common-sense-gun-deaths-1824088427

FAIRFAX, VA—In response to the March For Our Lives protest led by student activists who survived the Stoneman Douglas High School shooting, the National Rifle Association reportedly issued a statement Monday calling for more common-sense gun deaths. “Now, more than ever, what we need are more shooting deaths resulting from defending one’s family from home invaders or getting revenge—the types of clear, logical gun deaths with widespread approval,” said NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre, adding that the contentious national conversation on gun control overlooked many common-sense gun deaths that both sides could agree on. “We believe that owning a gun is a Second Amendment right, and the solution here is certainly not harsher gun deaths. We can avoid senseless tragedies by encouraging more Americans to kill someone with a firearm in a more defensible and reasonable way. I’m sure we all can agree that we’d rather see a teen accidentally shoot their friend from a deer blind or unintentionally kill their sibling after finding their parents’ rifle under the bed than turn a gun on their classmates. We’re calling on law enforcement to kill more African Americans during traffic stops and more people with mental health issues to use guns for suicide—the kinds of gun deaths that we as Americans can live with.” LaPierre also told reporters that any action on the issue should take inspiration from the kinds of common-sense gun deaths in other countries perpetuated by American soldiers.