NEW YORK—Describing the
pathetic manner in which the North Korean dictator debased himself while pleading
for a meeting with President Trump, Rudy Giuliani claimed Thursday that Kim
Jong-un begged like a has-been-politician-turned-hack-attorney trying to get a
job at the White House.
“He groveled like a washed-up
former mayor who hasn’t been relevant since the early 2000s, begging on his
knees for a mid-level position in the Justice Department,” said Giuliani,
adding that the pathetic doofus demonstrated a level of self-respect on par
with a failed presidential candidate who built his entire career on being in
the right place at the right time, babbling incoherently about the relationship
between a reality TV star and a pornographic actress.
“I kid you not, this guy was
prepared to bow down and kiss Trump’s boots like some cigar-chomping numbskull
who actually thought he had a chance at being Attorney General. I mean, the
look on his face—it was like a guy who just found out he married his second
cousin or got 9 percent of the vote in a Republican primary—just a total,
irredeemable jackass.”
At press time, Giuliani was
forced to walk back his comments by Trump’s actual lawyer, Emmet Flood.
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